In Nectar of Instruction, Rupa Goswami states that higher than Mathura is the holy land of Vrndavana, higher than Vrndavana is Govardhana and highest of all is Radha-kunda. In the current day and age I would add that higher than all of them is Loi Bazaar, the central market in Vrndavana. I have seen devotees breaking into raptures of ecstasy at the sight of rows upon rows of deity paraphernalia, clothes, incense, jewelry and articles of worship.
I have always regarded Loi Bazar with some trepidation. I love the new stuff but am wary of being cheated. Loi Bazar, like any other marketplace that deals mostly with tourists is famous for scalping, both on prices and quality. They will cheerfully sell saw-dust as chandan, plastic as yak-tail, and bell metal as ashta-dhatu. Walking down the streets of Loi Bazar I can empathize with the girls in the mean streets of Delhi. I am catcalled from both sides - “hare krishna prabhu” beckons one, “Prabhuji, prabhuji” entreats another and “Ishkcon, Ishkcon” leers yet another. I keep my eyes on the straight and narrow, steadfastly avoiding any eye contact and glide down the streets to the known shops.
This time, however, my experience was different. I walked up and down the street three times and no one called out to me. “What, is my money not good enough?” I thought furiously. And it was not just me. Even western devotees, who are considered as more lucrative targets were peacefully ambling around completely unscathed.
Finally, swallowing my pride I approached a shop selling kanti-malas (neck beads). “Does this have parachute wire?”, I asked, attempting to appear knowledgeable. Typically shopkeepers will assure that it is so. This shopkeeper was different. “It is nylon. Where do you think I would get parachutes from? And do you seriously think that parachutes would rely on such flimsy wires?” he asked. I gulped. I am guessing some enterprising shopkeeper of the yore had started assuring his customers that thread of his malas were parachute wires; ignorant customers like me then started asking for it and it soon became a symbiotic falsehood. In the shop next to me another customer inquired if the statues were ashta-dhatu. “Be reasonable sahib. Do you really think that you will get gold and silver at these prices?” responded that shopkeeper. I found this candor refreshing. In order to verify it, I asked similar questions of different shopkeepers of different articles. Is this incense smokeless? If there is fire, there will be smoke quipped the seller. Is this a Lakshmi conch? “If it were I would add 4 more zeroes to it”. “Is this camara made from genuine yak tail hair?” Would it be so shiny and symmetrical if it were responded yet another. This was great! The renaissance of Loi Bazar!
My next challenge of course is price. I always negotiate, since I hate being cheated. The challenge is in defining a good deal. I have no idea what that would be. However, I do not let such minor technicalities hamper me. Over time I have developed four different disingenuous approaches in getting the shopkeeper to lower the prices.
- “This is what I paid for it last time” (I actually don’t even remember how much I spent just a few minutes ago)
- “Other shops are asking for less” (generally end up comparing apples and oranges)
- “Its worth a lot less” (completely untrue since have no idea of what is a reasonable price is) and if all fails simply begging
- “Please, please, please, I cannot afford more!”
These shopkeepers who have probably learned bargaining in their mother’s womb have a deft reply for everything and they do so without insulting you. This time was no different, I was relieved that at least something had not changed. There was still bargaining going on in Loi Bazar.
I spend about 3 hours in Loi Bazar; window shopping, browsing, bargaining, buying and most importantly keeping a wary eyes on the monkeys who were also carefully scrutinizing me for any weakness. I ended the day with a sense of triumph. I felt I had bargained well and saved at least Rs. 1,000 of my hard earned money on purchases of about Rs. 10,000. Not bad at all!
Just then I got a message from my good wife that our good son had just gotten a speeding ticket of $140. Well, I guess, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Thank god for philosophy!
